makeup « Being a teenage crossdresser

Hello everyone. Sorry for running away. It was rude of me.

I am back from the place my mind was in that prevented me from writing. I don’t know where that was but perhaps we can explore it together.

Obviously lots has happened since last we spoke but i can’t write it all here. I will just pretend that you know it and continue with the most recent events.

Last weekend i met up with a very good friend and her friend who were both born male. Such a night i have never had. It is what i imagine living among girls would be like, for they treated me perfectly. Until i have successfully transitioned, it is only really others like me who understand what is going through my mind. They made me feel very comfortable being myself. It took a while to adjust because i am not overly femme much of the time. ‘Makeup, boys and wine’ sums up the evening fairly accurately. There were other things but i would rather not divulge more for fear of upsetting some readers.

Where am i in my thoughts? I am gender confused. I know that i am not male (this is something that i have always felt). I know that i enjoy and feel comfortable as a woman. I know that i have a lot to learn to become a ‘proper woman’. Even if i transition fully, i will still possess certain male traits that i have picked up while being in this body. Does that matter? I know that the process will be long and painful. I know that i could live out a fairly dull and slightly pained life as a hidden male if i wanted to. Do i want to become female enough to warrant SRS? Do i lie to the therapist to get what i want? Does any of that matter? I am who i am regardless of the body i am in. Sadly people will treat you differently depending on the body i am in. I don’t feel male, yet people treat me as one because of my body.

Phew… It is good to get that out of my system.

Comments are very much welcome. I am stuck and i need your support.