Today i got hit by a van

My alarm woke me at 0900 and i glanced at it. I then decided that my sleep was more important than having time to get ready and promptly went back to sleep for half an hour.

My second awakening happened at 0930 and i got up and went for a shower. To my great surprise, the cleaner was in there so i optioned to use another shower in a different corridor. Most of my time was spent trying to obtain a balance between scolding hot and freezing cold. Tomorrow i shall shave my legs. They really need doing and i need to look my best. Wednesday is Halloween and i am told it is a crossdresser’s favourite celebration. Having never marked the occasion, i am apprehensive but determined to do it well. I shall dress as a gothy version of Alice.

It will give me an excuse to show Alice to people in my block. This is the start of a prolonged campaign to show them who i am. After crossdressing on Halloween, i intend to start wearing skirts around the block to gauge reactions. Hopefully, things shouldn’t go too badly. – We shall see -

Out of the shower and back to my room. I gathered all the folders i needed for the day’s lectures and walked down the leafy back path to get my bike. I then rode off through the autumnal roads to university. The sun was shining through the remaining golden leaves and things seemed good.

I turned onto the busy road and was just riding along in the cycle path when i saw a van turning into a road; the road that i was just crossing.

There wasn’t anytime for me to hit the brakes. I hit the centre of the bonnet and kept going. The bike was flung into the pavement and i was still tangled with it. My legs jerked and the bike was liberated from my body. The van was slowing down and i smacked my head on the grill as i fell to the floor. Luckily i landed on my feet with nought but adrenaline in my veins. A few bruises and scrapes.

In a great deal of shock, i straightened up and looked at the driver. He was a young man (couldn’t have been over 25) and he looked terrified. Clearly this was a company van and he would be in all kinds of shit. Contrary to my expectations, he got out of the van and was very apologetic. He asked if i was ok and if i could walk. I wasn’t really in any position to say no and demand he paid for the repairs to my now warped bike.

He drove off and i was left to inspect the damage. My pedal was smashed through my wheel. Both wheels were buckled. My gear change was bent out of all recognition.

His van had a huge dent in the bonnet, a smashed grill and the bumper was hanging off. Almost a fair exchange.

I walked the bike the rest of the way to campus and parked it against a lamp post. I don’t know how long i am going to leave it there. I need to get it repaired or get a new one. I shall ask my parents if they are prepared to fund such a venture.

I had my first two lectures and then was on my way to my third when i spotted a police car and two fire engines outside the medical school (where my lecture was to be taking place). No smoke was present, but there were fully clad fire-fighters walking out of the doors. Police tape was preventing anyone from getting in. I stood there and contemplated my next move. Clearly i couldn’t go in. Today was just full of misfortune.

I made my way up to the library and read for a while. It usually calms me down. I have an appointment with a counselor soon. I had better go and prepare myself.

I may have to start wearing skirts tonight. I need comfort and emotional support. Sadly i don’t think the counselor can provide either. We shall see..

~hugs~

Appointments

The alarm went off and shock me from my beautiful slumber. I allowed myself an extra 10 minutes then threw back the covers and left the warmth for a shower. I had a few tasks to be completed today. Two appointments with psychiatrists and one with a mechanic. I was more nervous about the mechanic over the others.

I drove up to the adolescent clinic and had far too much trouble parking. I ended up parking illegally for an hour. It was that or not get to my appointment. This would be my last with this woman so i thought i should probably make an effort to go. I have missed rather a lot. I don’t really like this psychiatrist. She is rude, demeaning and seems to care little about my plight. She is a neo-Freudian and tries desperately to relate everything to my parents. Naturally in some cases this is appropriate, but not in everything! She seems to avoid the fact that i wish to be a girl. Is she scared, does she dislike the concept?

It matters very little for i shall not see her again. I have progressed to the adult clinic where i hope to be treated better. I drove straight to the adult centre and the change was obvious immediately. The place was beautiful and modern (an oxymoron by some people’s standards). Bright and welcoming. I met my doctor who was the beautiful dark haired late twenty, single graduate who would rather be off doing something but still pleased she is here. She actually seemed to care for my plight. She rang various specialists and talked to me like a real person with a real problem. I wanted more. I could talk to her which was a rare finding in these clinics. I left in a hurry for my next appointment with the mechanic.

My car, affectionately known as Hamish, was in need of an MOT. I had booked it well in advance and drove with haste to get there on time. I parked and made small talk with the manage. He told me to return in half an hour, so i spent it looking around Miss Selfridge feeling sorry for myself.

Upon my return i found i had failed which was no great surprise to me. I need to get many a thing fixed before i can drive anywhere. I drove home and tried booking it in but nowhere seems to want to take it. I must try later.

This evening Lily and i chatted online to try and solve some of our problems. She has some wonderful ideas about what i could do with me gender that involves us being whoever we want to be whenever we like. Sounds ideal, if a bit infeasible. I do believe that it is possible thought with the right amount of effort. We shall see how things turn out.

I am to see leanna tomorrow and i am not looking forward to it. It is possible she may want to sleep with me and she will not let go of me. I want to go to uni and forget all my ties to this place. That would add in new complications. The only real memory i wish to take with me is the one of lily. She is with me all the way, where ever i am.