Hello, my name is Alice. I am an 18 year old student from England. I had gender dysphoria. This means i have a male body, but my mind is not sure which gender it should be. This is an important concept to grasp because the rest of my blog won’t make much sense unless you understand. I am not a transsexual, i don’t want to fully be a woman, yet. I am just confused about my gender. Ideally i would be androgynous, but society doesn’t allow for that at the moment. Because i class myself as more woman than man, i crossdress to a female mode. This suits me well and i enjoy it. I am out to all my friends and family and live about 50% of the time as a girl.
This blog is not just for like minded people; it is also a way for ‘normal’ people to gain an insight into my thoughts. I hope they are refreshing and not trivial and standard.
The older entries were written when i was very young and didn’t have a total grasp of the poet’s language. I still don’t but it is much better than it was. Treat all the old posts with caution and don’t judge me by them. I would advise only reading 2007 entries. (further back if you develop and obsession with me, but i don’t really see that happening)
Please leave comments. If you prefer email contact then email me at lemonade_boy[at]hotmail.com
I am more likely to answer comments than emails. No emails from horny old men wanting a quick shag. I am very expensive!
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November 28, 2007 at 3:28 am
Jersey
Hmmm…in the States here I think the name is also called gender identity disorder. Trust me, sometimes I felt like I didn’t know if I was a woman, a boy…or if I was even androgynous (or is intersexual?). While I was born XX and now identify as a woman, during my adolescense (which was within the last decade, so memories are still very fresh, I was by no means sure. Dressed as a boy, wanting to always be one of the guys, sports, male-targeted anime, video games occasionally…stuff traditionally associated with male culture. But then I was one who played with both Power Ranger and Barbie toys as a child…
November 28, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Alice
i know it is called gender identity disorder. I have been studying it closely for some years.
December 4, 2007 at 4:23 am
Anonymous
Read you current posts and some of the others. I noticed you did have an appointment with some mental health types in the past but I can’t tell if these appointments are continuing. I hope so as I feel it will be very useful for you to have a professional to talk with as you are moving along this path.
I hope you will also discuss your diet with a relevant professional. One meal a day sounds on the light side for someone your age.
Good to hear that you are working out as that is something which is good for all of us and may be a stress reducer too.
Would me nice if you could post an e-mail address so those of us who wish to exchange messages with you could do so.
Linda
December 4, 2007 at 4:42 am
Alice
Thanks Linda. I shall put my email up on this page if you wish to contact me.
December 18, 2007 at 10:37 pm
The life of the teenage crossdresser « Crossdressing: Erotic Stories
[...] It’s written by Alice, an 18-year-old student, who can read more about here. [...]
January 23, 2008 at 12:16 am
Trystan
I’m so glad I found your blog. I am a 18yo closeted crossdresser.
May 10, 2008 at 5:03 am
eStory
http://www.geocities.com/whytv/index.html
As someone who has struggled with this problem for about 30 years, I think the above explanation is probably the best one i’ve seen. there is probably something in my brain that is usually given to females, i just ended up with it by mistake. It’s a small part of me, but it occasionally creates urges to dress up and ‘present’ like most mammals. It can be suppressed (by a close girlfriend, or by a very low level of stress). In natal females, they are more neurotic and it probably drives them to ‘dress up’ more or less constantly.
June 3, 2008 at 6:01 am
Riki
I appreciate your site, and your understanding about what really matters in life. I am so far in the closet that if the door opened I would still be invisible. I love who I am but cannot find the courage to overturn the lives of my family who have loved and supported me for my 52 years on this planet. I know they would still love me, but some would be hurt, and the choice is mine. I am just now deciding I want to go out in public. I don’t know much more than that yet but a powerful joy is rising in me every day as I think about it and plan for the big day. I doubt I will ever go full time, but have the utmost respect and love for you. Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts. Who I am is not a mistake, and I love me just the way I am. Sure, I’m a bit overly protective of those I love, but I see that as a lovely feminine trait to have. Oh, and by the way, you truly are beautiful Alice. Inside and out.
April 21, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Amy Mcleod
hi there Alice.
I was reading your blog and think it is very interesting how open, honest but also articulate you are about your perception of what your gender should, or what you would like it to, be.
I would like to ask you some more specific questions – I will email you.
Many thanks,
Amy